29.10.13
22.9.13
16.9.13
8.9.13
the world's most boring website :: the world's most boring photos, slideshows and more
the world's most boring website :: the world's most boring photos, slideshows and more
the world's most boring photos, slideshows and more
grass-growing gallery - a collection of photos depicting one of life's most boring activities, watching grass grow. in black and white, of course. now with slideshow.
grass-growing gallery in sepia - if the previous collection of black and white photos are too boring for you, try the sepia version. probably the second most colorful things (see next item) you'll find on this site. now also with slideshow.
grass-growing gallery in color - if the previous two collections--black and white photos, and sepia-tone photos of grass growing--are too boring for you, try the exciting color version. woohoo, we can hardly contain ourselves. these are probably the only colorful things you'll find on this site. now--you guessed it--also with slideshow.
grass-growing gallery in sepia - if the previous collection of black and white photos are too boring for you, try the sepia version. probably the second most colorful things (see next item) you'll find on this site. now also with slideshow.
grass-growing gallery in color - if the previous two collections--black and white photos, and sepia-tone photos of grass growing--are too boring for you, try the exciting color version. woohoo, we can hardly contain ourselves. these are probably the only colorful things you'll find on this site. now--you guessed it--also with slideshow.
navigation
7.9.13
▶ Idiots - with Zoe Saldana & Kate Bosworth and BoTown Sound
29.6.13
MinusIQ | The pill to lower your IQ permanently
Published on 19 Mar 2013
The world's a much brighter place when you're not too bright
http://www.sleepthinker.com
http://www.facebook.com/sleepthinker
http://www.sleepthinker.com
http://www.facebook.com/sleepthinker
4.6.13
Natalie Portman - Between Two Ferns With Zach Galifianakis
Uploaded on 3 Nov 2009
Zach interviews Natalie Portman and her dog, Whiz.
See the original at: http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/5ef1...
See the original at: http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/5ef1...
31.5.13
The reverse break-up - Best of Totally Sketch
Uploaded on 11 Jun 2011
It works every time.
Click to Tweet: http://clicktotweet.com/CcB13
SUBSCRIBE to Totally Sketch (it's free): http://bit.ly/ixyikf
Follow Totally Sketch on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/totallysketch
Friend Totally Sketch on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/totallysketch
Click to Tweet: http://clicktotweet.com/CcB13
SUBSCRIBE to Totally Sketch (it's free): http://bit.ly/ixyikf
Follow Totally Sketch on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/totallysketch
Friend Totally Sketch on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/totallysketch
29.5.13
Ninja way of folding T-shirts, + You Tube Comments
[and: How to fold a teeshirt in 5 seconds - YouTube]
Comments
I just sat there asking my self "what the fuck... just happened?"
·
My whole life has been altered
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MAGIC! WITCH! BURN HER!
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First I was like .. "Yeah, So what?"
Then I was like:
" O_O "
Then I was like:
" O_O "
Mind fuck!
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Where's the Slow Motion Option?
I had some major issues with this. My cat is dead now :(
i need a step by step! >.<
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Fucking magnets! How do they work?
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instructions were to difficult, got dick stuck in living room fan
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Asians will take over the Earth. Then everything will be done amazingly and every meal will be delicious.
... that's some crazy voodoo shit
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I tried this, and it blew my mind.
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witchcraft.
10 replays later... still can't do it
i tried to do this for 10 minutes and i had to lie down for a bit so i didn't punch a wall
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What sorcery is this?
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What if the heck yo LOL That's it... This sold me, I'm wife'in me a japanese woman
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I tried doing this and I killed my friend. Can someone show me what I did wrong?
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Get back at Americans. Make them crazy.
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now i do my laundry like a ninja
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Best way to fold the t-shirt is to marry a japanese...
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Motherfucker, everything is different now.
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Uh... What the hell Did I just witness!?
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Nation Excited To See Whatever Bile The Internet Spews Up Today
Nation Excited To See Whatever Bile The Internet Spews Up Today
WASHINGTON—According to reports, the American people are currently rubbing their hands in anticipation for whatever vile, disgusting garbage the internet will eventually puke up across a variety of news outlets, blogs, social media networks, and comment sections today.
“Man oh man, I literally cannot wait to see what foul shit the web smears across my computer screen,” said Massachusetts resident Andrew Renzi, 29, before eagerly checking out the latest despicable offal and sludge Facebook, Twitter, CNN.com, and Reddit had recently coughed up.
“What’s it gonna be? A horrid slideshow spewed from the pits of internet hell designed to appeal to the basest form of human intelligence? A poisonous stream of racist comment threads? Either way, I just love how you can always count on the net to deliver a rancid, steaming plate of feces fresh to your browser every morning.” At press time, Renzi had brea
“Man oh man, I literally cannot wait to see what foul shit the web smears across my computer screen,” said Massachusetts resident Andrew Renzi, 29, before eagerly checking out the latest despicable offal and sludge Facebook, Twitter, CNN.com, and Reddit had recently coughed up.
“What’s it gonna be? A horrid slideshow spewed from the pits of internet hell designed to appeal to the basest form of human intelligence? A poisonous stream of racist comment threads? Either way, I just love how you can always count on the net to deliver a rancid, steaming plate of feces fresh to your browser every morning.” At press time, Renzi had brea
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28.5.13
Government-Issued PS Announcement, Urging Teens To F#ck Their Brains Out - YouTube
Published on 27 May 2013
For More Breaking News: http://www.theonion.com/video
The above is a 2008 PSA issued by the Department of Health and Human Services in support of the "Fuck Your Brains Out" sex education program.
For Breaking News: http://www.theonion.com/video
Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA
Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/theonion
Follow The Onion on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/theonion
The above is a 2008 PSA issued by the Department of Health and Human Services in support of the "Fuck Your Brains Out" sex education program.
For Breaking News: http://www.theonion.com/video
Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA
Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/theonion
Follow The Onion on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/theonion
25.5.13
Is The Government Spying On Schizophrenics Enough? - YouTube
Uploaded on 17 Jan 2008
In The Know: Panelists discuss ways to care for the nation's paranoid schizophrenics, such as hiding cameras in their homes or audio transmitters in their ears.
More coverage at: http://www.onion.com
More coverage at: http://www.onion.com
24.5.13
Louis CK learns about the Catholic Church - YouTube
Uploaded on 21 Jun 2007
http://wwww.louisck.com
driven by simple curiosity, I did some investiagative reporting and found out some surprising things about the Catholic Church...
driven by simple curiosity, I did some investiagative reporting and found out some surprising things about the Catholic Church...
20.5.13
How To Dress To Impress .... like American Psycho
How To Dress To Impress
Looking sharp is one thing; looking like an affectatious wanker is something else.
Fashion goes out of style, but style never goes out of fashion.
The following quote (and several others) from American Psycho seems wholly apt to this shallow dispatch on male corporate climbing vanity.
Patrick Bateman: There is an idea of a Patrick Bateman; some kind of abstraction. But there is no real me: only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable... I simply am not there.
Looking sharp is one thing; looking like an affectatious wanker is something else.
Fashion goes out of style, but style never goes out of fashion.
- Commenter
- MJ
- Location
- Date and time
- May 14, 2013, 6:14PM
The following quote (and several others) from American Psycho seems wholly apt to this shallow dispatch on male corporate climbing vanity.
Patrick Bateman: There is an idea of a Patrick Bateman; some kind of abstraction. But there is no real me: only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable... I simply am not there.
- Commenter
- Housing Troll
- Location
- Date and time
- May 14, 2013, 6:35PM
19.5.13
John Hodgman: More Information Than You Require
Uploaded on 26 Jan 2010
http://chicagohumanities.org - See more Chicago Humanities Festival events.
John Hodgman, The Daily Shows famous minor television personality and resident expert, and the hapless PC in Apple's PC vs. Mac commercials, reads from his most recent book, More Information Than You Require. The book follows the bestselling all-you-need compendium of facts, The Areas of My Expertise. Hodgman holds forth on subjects as diverse as: The Past (as There Is Always More of It), The Future (as There Is Still Some Left), All of the Presidents of the United States, The Secrets of Hollywood, Gambling, The Sport of the Asthmatic Man (Including: Hermit-Crab Racing), Strange Encounters with Aliens, How to Buy a Computer, How to Cook an Owl, and Most Other Subjects. Festival artistic director Lawrence Weschler joins him in conversation to test the depths of his knowledge.
John Hodgman, The Daily Shows famous minor television personality and resident expert, and the hapless PC in Apple's PC vs. Mac commercials, reads from his most recent book, More Information Than You Require. The book follows the bestselling all-you-need compendium of facts, The Areas of My Expertise. Hodgman holds forth on subjects as diverse as: The Past (as There Is Always More of It), The Future (as There Is Still Some Left), All of the Presidents of the United States, The Secrets of Hollywood, Gambling, The Sport of the Asthmatic Man (Including: Hermit-Crab Racing), Strange Encounters with Aliens, How to Buy a Computer, How to Cook an Owl, and Most Other Subjects. Festival artistic director Lawrence Weschler joins him in conversation to test the depths of his knowledge.
18.5.13
13.4.13
A Modest Proposal - Jonathan Swift (1667-1745), author and satirist,
Jonathan Swift - A Modest Proposal
”I have been assured by a very knowing American of my acquaintance in London, that a young healthy child well nursed is at a year old a most delicious, nourishing, and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked, or boiled ...”Note: Jonathan Swift (1667-1745), author and satirist, famous for Gulliver's Travels (1726) and A Modest Proposal (1729). This proposal, where he suggests that the Irish eat their own children, is one of his most drastic pieces. He devoted much of his writing to the struggle for Ireland against the English hegemony.
 | It
is a melancholy object to those who walk through this great town or
travel in the country, when they see the streets, the roads, and cabin
doors, crowded with beggars of the female sex, followed by three, four,
or six children, all in rags and importuning every passenger for an
alms. These mothers, instead of being able to work for their honest livelihood, are forced to employ all their time in strolling to beg sustenance for their helpless infants: who as they grow up either turn thieves for want of work, or leave their dear native country to fight for the Pretender in Spain, or sell themselves to the Barbadoes. I think it is agreed by all parties that this prodigious number of children in the arms, or on the backs, or at the heels of their mothers, and frequently of their fathers, is in the present deplorable state of the kingdom a very great additional grievance; and, therefore, whoever could find out a fair, cheap, and easy method of making these children sound, useful members of the commonwealth, would deserve so well of the public as to have his statue set up for a preserver of the nation. But my intention is very far from being confined to provide only for the children of professed beggars; it is of a much greater extent, and shall take in the whole number of infants at a certain age who are born of parents in effect as little able to support them as those who demand our charity in the streets.  ”I have been assured by a very knowing American of my acquaintance in London, that a young healthy child well nursed is at a year old a most delicious, nourishing, and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked, or boiled ...” As to my own part, having turned my thoughts for many years upon this important subject, and maturely weighed the several schemes of other projectors, I have always found them grossly mistaken in the computation. It is true, a child just dropped from its dam may be supported by her milk for a solar year, with little other nourishment; at most not above the value of 2s., which the mother may certainly get, or the value in scraps, by her lawful occupation of begging; and it is exactly at one year old that I propose to provide for them in such a manner as instead of being a charge upon their parents or the parish, or wanting food and raiment for the rest of their lives, they shall on the contrary contribute to the feeding, and partly to the clothing, of many thousands. There is likewise another great advantage in my scheme, that it will prevent those voluntary abortions, and that horrid practice of women murdering their bastard children, alas! too frequent among us! sacrificing the poor innocent babes I doubt more to avoid the expense than the shame, which would move tears and pity in the most savage and inhuman breast. The number of souls in this kingdom being usually reckoned one million and a half, of these I calculate there may be about two hundred thousand couple whose wives are breeders; from which number I subtract thirty thousand couples who are able to maintain their own children, although I apprehend there cannot be so many, under the present distresses of the kingdom; but this being granted, there will remain an hundred and seventy thousand breeders. I again subtract fifty thousand for those women who miscarry, or whose children die by accident or disease within the year. There only remains one hundred and twenty thousand children of poor parents annually born. The question therefore is, how this number shall be reared and provided for, which, as I have already said, under the present situation of affairs, is utterly impossible by all the methods hitherto proposed. For we can neither employ them in handicraft or agriculture; we neither build houses (I mean in the country) nor cultivate land: they can very seldom pick up a livelihood by stealing, till they arrive at six years old, except where they are of towardly parts, although I confess they learn the rudiments much earlier, during which time, they can however be properly looked upon only as probationers, as I have been informed by a principal gentleman in the county of Cavan, who protested to me that he never knew above one or two instances under the age of six, even in a part of the kingdom so renowned for the quickest proficiency in that art. I am assured by our merchants, that a boy or a girl before twelve years old is no salable commodity; and even when they come to this age they will not yield above three pounds, or three pounds and half-a-crown at most on the exchange; which cannot turn to account either to the parents or kingdom, the charge of nutriment and rags having been at least four times that value. I shall now therefore humbly propose my own thoughts, which I hope will not be liable to the least objection. I have been assured by a very knowing American of my acquaintance in London, that a young healthy child well nursed is at a year old a most delicious, nourishing, and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked, or boiled; and I make no doubt that it will equally serve in a fricassee or a ragout. I do therefore humbly offer it to public consideration that of the hundred and twenty thousand children already computed, twenty thousand may be reserved for breed, whereof only one-fourth part to be males; which is more than we allow to sheep, black cattle or swine; and my reason is, that these children are seldom the fruits of marriage, a circumstance not much regarded by our savages, therefore one male will be sufficient to serve four females. That the remaining hundred thousand may, at a year old, be offered in the sale to the persons of quality and fortune through the kingdom; always advising the mother to let them suck plentifully in the last month, so as to render them plump and fat for a good table. A child will make two dishes at an entertainment for friends; and when the family dines alone, the fore or hind quarter will make a reasonable dish, and seasoned with a little pepper or salt will be very good boiled on the fourth day, especially in winter. I have reckoned upon a medium that a child just born will weigh 12 pounds, and in a solar year, if tolerably nursed, increaseth to 28 pounds. I grant this food will be somewhat dear, and therefore very proper for landlords, who, as they have already devoured most of the parents, seem to have the best title to the children. Infant's flesh will be in season throughout the year, but more plentiful in March, and a little before and after; for we are told by a grave author, an eminent French physician, that fish being a prolific diet, there are more children born in Roman Catholic countries about nine months after Lent than at any other season; therefore, reckoning a year after Lent, the markets will be more glutted than usual, because the number of popish infants is at least three to one in this kingdom: and therefore it will have one other collateral advantage, by lessening the number of papists among us. I have already computed the charge of nursing a beggar's child (in which list I reckon all cottagers, laborers, and four-fifths of the farmers) to be about two shillings per annum, rags included; and I believe no gentleman would repine to give ten shillings for the carcass of a good fat child, which, as I have said, will make four dishes of excellent nutritive meat, when he hath only some particular friend or his own family to dine with him. Thus the squire will learn to be a good landlord, and grow popular among his tenants; the mother will have eight shillings net profit, and be fit for work till she produces another child. Those who are more thrifty (as I must confess the times require) may flay the carcass; the skin of which artificially dressed will make admirable gloves for ladies, and summer boots for fine gentlemen. As to our city of Dublin, shambles may be appointed for this purpose in the most convenient parts of it, and butchers we may be assured will not be wanting; although I rather recommend buying the children alive, and dressing them hot from the knife, as we do roasting pigs. A very worthy person, a true lover of his country, and whose virtues I highly esteem, was lately pleased in discoursing on this matter to offer a refinement upon my scheme. He said that many gentlemen of this kingdom, having of late destroyed their deer, he conceived that the want of venison might be well supplied by the bodies of young lads and maidens, not exceeding fourteen years of age nor under twelve; so great a number of both sexes in every country being now ready to starve for want of work and service; and these to be disposed of by their parents, if alive, or otherwise by their nearest relations. But with due deference to so excellent a friend and so deserving a patriot, I cannot be altogether in his sentiments; for as to the males, my American acquaintance assured me, from frequent experience, that their flesh was generally tough and lean, like that of our schoolboys by continual exercise, and their taste disagreeable; and to fatten them would not answer the charge. Then as to the females, it would, I think, with humble submission be a loss to the public, because they soon would become breeders themselves; and besides, it is not improbable that some scrupulous people might be apt to censure such a practice (although indeed very unjustly), as a little bordering upon cruelty; which, I confess, hath always been with me the strongest objection against any project, however so well intended. But in order to justify my friend, he confessed that this expedient was put into his head by the famous Psalmanazar, a native of the island Formosa, who came from thence to London above twenty years ago, and in conversation told my friend, that in his country when any young person happened to be put to death, the executioner sold the carcass to persons of quality as a prime dainty; and that in his time the body of a plump girl of fifteen, who was crucified for an attempt to poison the emperor, was sold to his imperial majesty's prime minister of state, and other great mandarins of the court, in joints from the gibbet, at four hundred crowns. Neither indeed can I deny, that if the same use were made of several plump young girls in this town, who without one single groat to their fortunes cannot stir abroad without a chair, and appear at playhouse and assemblies in foreign fineries which they never will pay for, the kingdom would not be the worse. Some persons of a desponding spirit are in great concern about that vast number of poor people, who are aged, diseased, or maimed, and I have been desired to employ my thoughts what course may be taken to ease the nation of so grievous an encumbrance. But I am not in the least pain upon that matter, because it is very well known that they are every day dying and rotting by cold and famine, and filth and vermin, as fast as can be reasonably expected. And as to the young laborers, they are now in as hopeful a condition; they cannot get work, and consequently pine away for want of nourishment, to a degree that if at any time they are accidentally hired to common labor, they have not strength to perform it; and thus the country and themselves are happily delivered from the evils to come. I have too long digressed, and therefore shall return to my subject. I think the advantages by the proposal which I have made are obvious and many, as well as of the highest importance. For first, as I have already observed, it would greatly lessen the number of papists, with whom we are yearly overrun, being the principal breeders of the nation as well as our most dangerous enemies; and who stay at home on purpose with a design to deliver the kingdom to the Pretender, hoping to take their advantage by the absence of so many good protestants, who have chosen rather to leave their country than stay at home and pay tithes against their conscience to an episcopal curate. Secondly, The poorer tenants will have something valuable of their own, which by law may be made liable to distress and help to pay their landlord's rent, their corn and cattle being already seized, and money a thing unknown. Thirdly, Whereas the maintenance of an hundred thousand children, from two years old and upward, cannot be computed at less than ten shillings a-piece per annum, the nation's stock will be thereby increased fifty thousand pounds per annum, beside the profit of a new dish introduced to the tables of all gentlemen of fortune in the kingdom who have any refinement in taste. And the money will circulate among ourselves, the goods being entirely of our own growth and manufacture. Fourthly, The constant breeders, beside the gain of eight shillings sterling per annum by the sale of their children, will be rid of the charge of maintaining them after the first year. Fifthly, This food would likewise bring great custom to taverns; where the vintners will certainly be so prudent as to procure the best receipts for dressing it to perfection, and consequently have their houses frequented by all the fine gentlemen, who justly value themselves upon their knowledge in good eating: and a skilful cook, who understands how to oblige his guests, will contrive to make it as expensive as they please. Sixthly, This would be a great inducement to marriage, which all wise nations have either encouraged by rewards or enforced by laws and penalties. It would increase the care and tenderness of mothers toward their children, when they were sure of a settlement for life to the poor babes, provided in some sort by the public, to their annual profit instead of expense. We should see an honest emulation among the married women, which of them could bring the fattest child to the market. Men would become as fond of their wives during the time of their pregnancy as they are now of their mares in foal, their cows in calf, their sows when they are ready to farrow; nor offer to beat or kick them (as is too frequent a practice) for fear of a miscarriage. Many other advantages might be enumerated. For instance, the addition of some thousand carcasses in our exportation of barreled beef, the propagation of swine's flesh, and improvement in the art of making good bacon, so much wanted among us by the great destruction of pigs, too frequent at our tables; which are no way comparable in taste or magnificence to a well-grown, fat, yearling child, which roasted whole will make a considerable figure at a lord mayor's feast or any other public entertainment. But this and many others I omit, being studious of brevity. Supposing that one thousand families in this city, would be constant customers for infants flesh, besides others who might have it at merry meetings, particularly at weddings and christenings, I compute that Dublin would take off annually about twenty thousand carcasses; and the rest of the kingdom (where probably they will be sold somewhat cheaper) the remaining eighty thousand. I can think of no one objection, that will possibly be raised against this proposal, unless it should be urged, that the number of people will be thereby much lessened in the kingdom. This I freely own, and 'twas indeed one principal design in offering it to the world. I desire the reader will observe, that I calculate my remedy for this one individual Kingdom of Ireland, and for no other that ever was, is, or, I think, ever can be upon Earth. Therefore let no man talk to me of other expedients: Of taxing our absentees at five shillings a pound: Of using neither cloaths, nor houshold furniture, except what is of our own growth and manufacture: Of utterly rejecting the materials and instruments that promote foreign luxury: Of curing the expensiveness of pride, vanity, idleness, and gaming in our women: Of introducing a vein of parsimony, prudence and temperance: Of learning to love our country, wherein we differ even from Laplanders, and the inhabitants of Topinamboo: Of quitting our animosities and factions, nor acting any longer like the Jews, who were murdering one another at the very moment their city was taken: Of being a little cautious not to sell our country and consciences for nothing: Of teaching landlords to have at least one degree of mercy towards their tenants. Lastly, of putting a spirit of honesty, industry, and skill into our shop-keepers, who, if a resolution could now be taken to buy only our native goods, would immediately unite to cheat and exact upon us in the price, the measure, and the goodness, nor could ever yet be brought to make one fair proposal of just dealing, though often and earnestly invited to it. Therefore I repeat, let no man talk to me of these and the like expedients, 'till he hath at least some glympse of hope, that there will ever be some hearty and sincere attempt to put them into practice. But, as to my self, having been wearied out for many years with offering vain, idle, visionary thoughts, and at length utterly despairing of success, I fortunately fell upon this proposal, which, as it is wholly new, so it hath something solid and real, of no expence and little trouble, full in our own power, and whereby we can incur no danger in disobliging England. For this kind of commodity will not bear exportation, and flesh being of too tender a consistence, to admit a long continuance in salt, although perhaps I could name a country, which would be glad to eat up our whole nation without it. After all, I am not so violently bent upon my own opinion as to reject any offer proposed by wise men, which shall be found equally innocent, cheap, easy, and effectual. But before something of that kind shall be advanced in contradiction to my scheme, and offering a better, I desire the author or authors will be pleased maturely to consider two points. First, as things now stand, how they will be able to find food and raiment for an hundred thousand useless mouths and backs. And secondly, there being a round million of creatures in human figure throughout this kingdom, whose whole subsistence put into a common stock would leave them in debt two millions of pounds sterling, adding those who are beggars by profession to the bulk of farmers, cottagers, and laborers, with their wives and children who are beggars in effect: I desire those politicians who dislike my overture, and may perhaps be so bold as to attempt an answer, that they will first ask the parents of these mortals, whether they would not at this day think it a great happiness to have been sold for food, at a year old in the manner I prescribe, and thereby have avoided such a perpetual scene of misfortunes as they have since gone through by the oppression of landlords, the impossibility of paying rent without money or trade, the want of common sustenance, with neither house nor clothes to cover them from the inclemencies of the weather, and the most inevitable prospect of entailing the like or greater miseries upon their breed for ever. I profess, in the sincerity of my heart, that I have not the least personal interest in endeavoring to promote this necessary work, having no other motive than the public good of my country, by advancing our trade, providing for infants, relieving the poor, and giving some pleasure to the rich. I have no children by which I can propose to get a single penny; the youngest being nine years old, and my wife past child-bearing. The End Note: Jonathan Swift (1667-1745), author and satirist, famous for Gulliver's Travels (1726) and A Modest Proposal (1729). This proposal, where he suggests that the Irish eat their own children, is one of his most drastic pieces. He devoted much of his writing to the struggle for Ireland against the English hegemony. |
2.4.13
Wodehouse Playhouse - The Nodder
Uploaded on 21 Jul 2011
Nathan Johnson·207 videosWodehouse Playhouse is a British television comedy series based on the short stories of P. G. Wodehouse. From 1974 to 1978, three series and a pilot were made, with 21 half-hour episodes altogether in the entire series.
Contents |
Overview
P. G. Wodehouse introduced the episodes in the first and second series, shortly before his death.With the exception of the pilot, John Alderton featured in all episodes, and his wife Pauline Collins was in all of the episodes in the first and second series. Geraldine Newman was featured in the first series. Sally Thomsett and Liza Goddard were among the actresses who were featured during the third series.
Episodes
Pilot
- "The Reverent Wooing of Archibald" 9 July 1974 (lost[1])
Series 1
- "The Truth About George" 23 April 1975
- "Romance at Droitgate" 30 April 1975
- "Portrait of a Disciplinarian" 7 May 1975
- "Unpleasantness at Bludleigh Court" 14 May 1975
- "The Rise of Minna Nordstrom" 21 May 1975
- "Rodney Fails to Qualify" 28 May 1975
- "A Voice From the Past" 4 June 1975
Series 2
- "Anselm Gets His Chance" 26 March 1976
- "Mr. Potter Takes a Rest Cure" 2 April 1976
- "Strychnine in the Soup" 9 April 1976
- "Feet of Clay" 23 April 1976
- "The Nodder" 30 April 1976
- "The Code of the Mulliners" 7 May 1976
Series 3
- "The Smile that Wins" 31 October 1978
- "Trouble Down at Tudsleigh" 7 November 1978
- "Tangled Hearts" 14 November 1978
- "The Luck of the Stiffhams" 21 November 1978
- "The Editor Regrets" 28 November 1978
- "Big Business" 5 December 1978
- "Mulliner's Buck-U-Uppo" 12 December 1978
References
- ^ Wodehouse Playhouse, lostshows.com
30.3.13
F#ck Me In The Ass Because I Love Jesus - YouTube
F#ck Me In The Ass Because I Love Jesus - YouTube
Lyrics as posted on reddit, at this link: http://www.reddit.com/r/videos/commen...
I do whatever the Bible tells me to
Except for the parts that I choose to ignore
Because they're unrealistic and inconvenient
But the rest, I live by for sure
So let's not talk about how the good book
Bans shellfish, polyester and divorce
And how it condones slavery and killing gays
Because those parts don't count of course
Let's cherry pick the part about losing my cherry
And ? for ambiguities and omissions
And circumvent any real sacrifice
And still feel pious in my arbitrary parroted positions
And don't you dare question my convictions
And don't look closely at the contradictions
...to live by God's rule
So whatever people tell me that the Bible tells me, I will do
Walk the halls of my school with my purity ring
Unlike those other girls, I've got my morals in check
It was easy to do till I got a boyfriend
And pardon my French, but he's cute as heck
And I made a pact
To keep my hymen intact
And Jesus and I are tight
Never learned about the birds and bees
I was taught to keep an aspirin in between my knees
Because the Bible says premarital sex is wrong
But Jason says that guys can't wait that long
And I don't want to lose him
To someone who'll do him
I need to figure something out
Well, there's a loophole in the scripture that works really well
So I can get him off without going to hell
It's my hail Mary full of grace
In Jesus' name, we go to fifth base
Oh, thank you for making me holy
And thank you for giving me holes to choose from
And since I'm not a godless whore
He'll have to come in the back door
Therefore.....
Fuck me in the ass because I love Jesus
The good lord would want it that way
It's the sweet sensation of a throbbing rationalization
It's just between you and me
Because everyone knows it's the sex that God can't see
It's hard to be as pure as me
To resist the urge to lose my vaginal virginity
To wait until my marriage bed
To give my husband my unsullied maidenhead
So take your cock out
Shove it in my ass
Fuck me until you come
Oops!
I mean let's join our souls
And unite our bodies
And fly with the wings of God
Whatever you do, don't touch my clitoris
If you ring Satan's doorbell, God can't ignore this
And no prophylactics when you put it in
Because birth control's for sluts, and it's a sin
I've emptied my bowels
And laid out the towels
I'm ready for romance
I'm praying to the power that's the highest
But of all of my holes, this one's the driest
And we can't procreate if we anally copulate
And God's OK with sodomy, but only if you're straight
And I'm staying pure no matter what
So I'm OK with everything but
Everything but
Everything butt
Fuck me in the ass because I love Jesus
The good lord would want it that way
Give me that sweet sensation of throbbing rationalization
It's just between you and me
Because everyone knows it's the sex that God can't see
Just focus on the sacrificial crucifixion
And have faith in its complete jurisdiction
It's the only way to measure if you're good or not
And when you're in a debate, just say to have faith
Because when up against logic it's the only card you've got
So close your eyes
Take a deep breath
And
Fuck me in the ass because I love Jesus
The good lord would want it that way
Give me that sweet sensation of irrational rationalization
It's just between you and me
Because everyone knows it's the sex that God can't see
Yeah, my chastity belt has locks
So sometimes you need to think outside the box
Lyrics as posted on reddit, at this link: http://www.reddit.com/r/videos/commen...
I do whatever the Bible tells me to
Except for the parts that I choose to ignore
Because they're unrealistic and inconvenient
But the rest, I live by for sure
So let's not talk about how the good book
Bans shellfish, polyester and divorce
And how it condones slavery and killing gays
Because those parts don't count of course
Let's cherry pick the part about losing my cherry
And ? for ambiguities and omissions
And circumvent any real sacrifice
And still feel pious in my arbitrary parroted positions
And don't you dare question my convictions
And don't look closely at the contradictions
...to live by God's rule
So whatever people tell me that the Bible tells me, I will do
Walk the halls of my school with my purity ring
Unlike those other girls, I've got my morals in check
It was easy to do till I got a boyfriend
And pardon my French, but he's cute as heck
And I made a pact
To keep my hymen intact
And Jesus and I are tight
Never learned about the birds and bees
I was taught to keep an aspirin in between my knees
Because the Bible says premarital sex is wrong
But Jason says that guys can't wait that long
And I don't want to lose him
To someone who'll do him
I need to figure something out
Well, there's a loophole in the scripture that works really well
So I can get him off without going to hell
It's my hail Mary full of grace
In Jesus' name, we go to fifth base
Oh, thank you for making me holy
And thank you for giving me holes to choose from
And since I'm not a godless whore
He'll have to come in the back door
Therefore.....
Fuck me in the ass because I love Jesus
The good lord would want it that way
It's the sweet sensation of a throbbing rationalization
It's just between you and me
Because everyone knows it's the sex that God can't see
It's hard to be as pure as me
To resist the urge to lose my vaginal virginity
To wait until my marriage bed
To give my husband my unsullied maidenhead
So take your cock out
Shove it in my ass
Fuck me until you come
Oops!
I mean let's join our souls
And unite our bodies
And fly with the wings of God
Whatever you do, don't touch my clitoris
If you ring Satan's doorbell, God can't ignore this
And no prophylactics when you put it in
Because birth control's for sluts, and it's a sin
I've emptied my bowels
And laid out the towels
I'm ready for romance
I'm praying to the power that's the highest
But of all of my holes, this one's the driest
And we can't procreate if we anally copulate
And God's OK with sodomy, but only if you're straight
And I'm staying pure no matter what
So I'm OK with everything but
Everything but
Everything butt
Fuck me in the ass because I love Jesus
The good lord would want it that way
Give me that sweet sensation of throbbing rationalization
It's just between you and me
Because everyone knows it's the sex that God can't see
Just focus on the sacrificial crucifixion
And have faith in its complete jurisdiction
It's the only way to measure if you're good or not
And when you're in a debate, just say to have faith
Because when up against logic it's the only card you've got
So close your eyes
Take a deep breath
And
Fuck me in the ass because I love Jesus
The good lord would want it that way
Give me that sweet sensation of irrational rationalization
It's just between you and me
Because everyone knows it's the sex that God can't see
Yeah, my chastity belt has locks
So sometimes you need to think outside the box
27.3.13
Adventure Time: Do the Splits, etc
Finn takes Flame Princess on an old-fashioned dungeon crawl.
Watch more Adventure Time on Cartoon Network!http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adventure_Time
24.3.13
Why So Ugly? - Most people in America are pretty damn ugly.
Why So Ugly?
see also: Where Did The Pretty American Girls Go?
By Law Dogger
Most people in America are pretty damn ugly.
Don’t believe me? Next time you leave your home, take a good look at the people around you — at the general population.
It actually took me a while to realize this, having lived in the nicer areas of Southern California for most of my adult life. If you are in a similar environment you may disagree with my first sentence. But try stepping slightly outside your deliciously tainted fantasy world (e.g., Santa Monica, West Hollywood, Manhattan, South Beach, Arizona State campus, and so forth) and you will see that most people are in fact aesthetically objectionable.
The Undateables — 70%
As I mentioned in one of my previous articles, I recently started taking a Russian language course. The only convenient option for me was at a community college in a second-tier city within Los Angeles. If I’m being generous, I would say roughly 1% of the student population consists of individuals you would not shudder introducing as a significant other. In my actual class, I have to constantly negotiate the room for a seat where my visual and olfactory senses are not offended.The girl to my left? Smells like a sweaty foot. The guy to my right? Not sure what he ate but he reeks of decayed cheese. Two rows over? Rolls upon rolls of fat nestled upon a girl who cackles uncontrollably at everything the teacher says. Side row, warts. Back row, a girl that, without exaggeration, I cannot look at because I will start to laugh. Imagine the Operation guy mated with Waldo and had a daughter. Then, imagine said daughter exuding androgyny while sporting bright red lipstick and unbeknownst to me… somehow maintaining the constant face of a person who just witnessed a dog speaking Mandarin.
And this is not an aberration. Really go walk around an average city and see what people look like. Go to the DMV. Go to the bus stop. Check out the buffet on weekends. Visit the off-strip casinos in Vegas. Still disagree?
The Average — 20%
These people are not so bad that you are visually offended at their sight. You run into them here and there during your daily activities. You sometimes think, “she would be cute if…” They take showers, but have haircuts from the 90s. They wear suits, but they are two sizes too large. She has a nice figure, but she has greasy hair and acne.The Above Average — 9%
The bread and butter of dating culture, desired nightlife attendees, game targets and Whole Foods’ customers. Initially you may think this number is higher than a single digit percentage. But such thinking fails to account for the fact that these mediums specifically attract this demographic: those who you want to date, those that do go to the desired clubs and bars, and those health-conscious and/or trendy enough to shop at places like Whole Foods. They are actively trying to look good. They watch what they eat. They wear better clothing. They spend the extra minute trimming nose hairs (guys) or putting on mascara (girls).This subsection of society includes the girls guys see and desire on a daily basis. The girls with the nice flowing hair from shampoo commercials wearing svelte dresses. It includes the men that trigger girls’ hypergamous nature. Sure, they are not perfect by any means, nor beautiful — but one must applaud the fact that they at least try to put their best face foot forward.
The Beautiful — 1%
A rare sight. It stops you in your tracks. It ascends sexuality and is defined objectively. I know when I see a remarkably handsome guy. I definitely know when I see a stunner of a woman.Try to say otherwise but these people live by different rules and a different reality. And unless you get an opportunity to temporarily step into their worlds, it is hard to comprehend. Two illustrative examples that come to mind:
The Crusher: A few years ago my buddy and I were in Medellin. If you are familiar with the culture there, the traditional Western nightlife is non-existent as most girls go out with male friends and do not try to mingle with outsiders. We could not find any place where there were just girls out partying. Also relevant is that Colombia generally is not a country where guys are not known for their looks. Having a drink at a high end bar, we notice a guy who undoubtedly just crushes high quality pussy on a regular basis. 6’3, ripped, in a suit, blue eyes, angular face, wavy hair, and so on (no homo of course). I asked him in my conversational Spanish where he suggests for the night, and he casually mentioned so and so club would be fun. Well we went, and it was the only place in Medellin where we were surrounded by and consequently partied with very attractive young girls that were NOT with guys. Thank you, Mr. Crusher. Access is half the battle, and our assumption that a guy this attractive would know where to find attractive girls was right.
The Model: Last year I went out on a few dates with an actual runway model. Never really got anywhere with her because I gave up after what seemed to be low-grade psychosis on her part—changing plans constantly, one demand after another that always seemed to contradict the previous one and so forth. It was just too much mental accordion play. However, in my few dates I did see the difference—the aforementioned separate reality. She was treated like a movie star. People would comment on her aesthetics stemming from shock, not ulterior motives. Waiters and waitresses would incessantly follow up, just to make sure no comfort was sacrificed for her. This is something that absent fame, most of us will never experience. It was quite eye-opening and looking back, explains her attitude.
So…why so ugly?
First, let’s put aside the 1% on each side. Hitting the genetic lottery for better or worse (deformities on one hand, and the model/beautiful types on the other) is not something you can control. Once you accept that, the answer should be obvious. It’s laziness. The difference between an undateable and an average, and for that matter an average and an above-average, is lack of effort — not caring or doing enough with respect to your appearance.Eat well? Fast food is easier. Go to the gym? Nah that’s for vain people. Dress nice? My 12-year-old sweatshirt is just fine. I simplify as there are other factors but the main culprit is laziness. If a girl is out of shape she’s too lazy to exercise. When a girl talks about chopping her hair off it’s because long hair “is just so hard to maintain!” A guy has bad breath because he’s too lazy to floss and brush.
These causes lead to certain effects. Unhygienic men do not hit trendy bars on a Friday night. Most girls sporting fat rolls do not have their Iphones blowing up with multiple gentlemen callers trying to connive themselves into their sweaty panties.
If you want to be desirable, all hope is not lost. These categories are fluid and movement from one to another is common, absent the 1% mentioned above. I will readily admit I’ve been undateable three separate times in my life, but after I ceased my laziness I escaped and now for good. There are plenty of articles around on how to improve one’s looks and style, so I won’t comment much on it. You can basically transform yourself in a day with some hygiene, decent clothes and a stylish haircut.
Finally, this highly scientific statistical breakdown is not meant to apply to every country. Ever wonder why so many girls love to travel to Argentina? Because the density of “crushers” there is rather high compared to most countries. Ever wonder why so many men love Ukraine/Russia? Because the girls there are the antithesis of laziness when it comes to their looks.
But hey, at least I’m not as pessimistic as some famed observationalists:
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