Uploaded on 6 Sep 2011
An episode from Doctor at Large - British TV series of 70's - that made up the basis of Faulty Towers.
It was so wrong but so right at the same time. So Joan. So great. RIP my friend.
13.12.14
John Cleese on Stupidity - YouTube
Published on 11 Apr 2014
10.9.14
Joan Rivers Funeral - Putting the fun back in funeral | Margaret Cho
Putting the fun back in funeral | Margaret Cho:
At first, the words just hung there, as no one knew exactly what to do. Of course I started laughing hysterically, and everyone else, remembering who we were there to honor, followed suit. Howard Stern actually choked back tears as he continued – “Joan’s pussy was so dry it was like a sponge – so that when she got in the bathtub – whooooosh – all the water would get absorbed in there! Joan said that if Whitney Houston had as dry a pussy as Joan’s, she would still be alive today…”
At first, the words just hung there, as no one knew exactly what to do. Of course I started laughing hysterically, and everyone else, remembering who we were there to honor, followed suit. Howard Stern actually choked back tears as he continued – “Joan’s pussy was so dry it was like a sponge – so that when she got in the bathtub – whooooosh – all the water would get absorbed in there! Joan said that if Whitney Houston had as dry a pussy as Joan’s, she would still be alive today…”
8.9.14
Joan Rivers – honest and funny to the end | Daily Review: film, stage and music reviews, interviews and more
Joan Rivers – honest and funny to the end | Daily Review: film, stage and music reviews, interviews and more
Joan Rivers my god, can we talk?
That woman went out as she would have wanted, dead from complications
of plastic surgery, a few weeks after abusing the Palestinians of Gaza
in an appalling but still blackly funny series of remarks (‘well they’re
phoning in warnings so only the stupid ones are being killed’).
That last intervention will ensure that some of the obsequies will be
a little muted in tone — Rivers had a big following among American
progressives — but you can’t say she wasn’t even-handed in handing it
out.
She had a big mainstream following too, and lost a chunk of that with
her infamous ’9/11 widows’ routine where she speculated that at least
some of the desperate housewives of the New York ‘burbs, on seeing on TV
the likely incineration of their husbands, had (and she would act this
out) stamped their feet up and gone ‘oh yes yes yes thank you thank
you’.
The routine was classic Rivers, neither unctuously political nor faux
radical — simply cutting through the bullshit to make the simple
acknowledgement of the realities of domestic life, and the venal sid of
human nature.
She will not get anything like the bizarre outpouring of grief earnd
by Robin Williams — but unlike Williams she’d been funny in the last ten
years. She was funny to the day she died. Your average episode of her
basic cable dogshit show Fashion Police was funnier than anything with a hundred times the money spent on writers and stars.
How can you grieve someone whose job was to regularly appal you? How
can you grieve an 81 year old woman who most likely died from a
face-lift? My god, it must have snapped off and flown across the
operating theatre. If you find that offensive, you wouldn’t like Rivers
anyway, so it doesn’t matter.
Rivers was, if you thought she was funny at all, pretty much funny
all the time. ‘My God, Jennifer Aniston, I’m so sick of her stupid
movies. At the end of the last one even the dog was begging to die’ (Marley and Me), was about the last one I remember from Fashion Police.
Like a lot of joke-based stand-ups she was blessed with the human
capacity for forgetting — an hour after seeing Steven Wright or Rivers
and laughing fit to piss — and let’s face it, she was in her ’70s and
still performing, there’s no way she wasn’t with you there — you’d
forgotten all but the last half dozen gags, like the tail-end of a
dream. She never did serious, she never did heartwarming (as far as I
recall), she just did funny.
But there is a serious point about Rivers, and that is that she was
far more of a pioneer and innovator than Robin Williams. A showbiz-crazy
New York Jewish gal, she failed for years — at acting, singing,
everything — before she found a knack for stand-up. She rose as part of
an almost completely forgotten cultural phalanx — the women stand-ups of
the ’50s and ’60s, of whom there were many. Household names, too,
national stars in the US and in syndication.
Today only Rivers and Phyllis Diller are remembered, partly for
longevity and, in Diller’s case, because she reversed the style (which
Rivers kept), of being glammed up to the nines. Diller made a joke about
her plainness and that insured her a permanent niche.
The others — they styled themselves as Rivers did until her death,
and I guess beyond (she’s left instructions for burial — she wants to be
depilated), as glamorous, slightly up-class WASPs. The look gave them
license — on US tonight shows, in nightclubs and Vegas — to do
surprisingly risque material for the time. They were allowed in to the
all-male bastion for one big reason — stand-up comedy’s raison d’etre,
its cultural role is to ceaselessly restage the mystery of the gendered
human being.
The fact that there are men and women, that they find their meaning
in each other, and yet are simultaneously mutually intolerable, powers
the folk tales of every culture, is projected cosmically, and stand-up
is merely our way of simultaneously releasing the tension of that, and
pondering the enigma. The pre-’80s female stand-ups did that from the
‘other side’, of the patraichal culture, in a way that could not be
subsituted for.
Rivers’s innovation was to sharpen those jokes from the teasing,
sometimes fey manner, to a very edgy barely concealed hostility, a lot
of it done through the enactment of female jealousy. When the DJ Robin
Quivers used an award speech to tearfully recount abuse by her father,
Rivers remarked ‘you should have been glad of the attention. I saw you
backstage bitch, you looked like a mudslide’, a putdown as carved and
detailed as an epigram from Martial.
The other item she added was viscerality, of the female body, the
abject – ‘my God when I was pregnant I was so big when my waters broke
my dog drowned! And he was in Detroit!’ — contradicted by the
high-finish of her appearance. It was an extended performance of the
core contradiction of public femininity, and it went for decades. She
was not only doing a sort of goyim minstrel act — she was essentially a
drag act who happened to be a woman.
God knows I don’t feel a skerrick of sympathy or loss for Rivers
herself. But as Billy Wilder said, walking away from Ernst Lubitsch’s
funeral ‘worse than no more Lubitsch, no more Lubitsch jokes’. She died
after days in an induced coma, like everyone who watched Anzac Girls. Can we talk?
That woman went out as she would have wanted, dead from complications
of plastic surgery, a few weeks after abusing the Palestinians of Gaza
in an appalling but still blackly funny series of remarks (‘well they’re
phoning in warnings so only the stupid ones are being killed’).
That last intervention will ensure that some of the obsequies will be
a little muted in tone — Rivers had a big following among American
progressives — but you can’t say she wasn’t even-handed in handing it
out.
She had a big mainstream following too, and lost a chunk of that with
her infamous ’9/11 widows’ routine where she speculated that at least
some of the desperate housewives of the New York ‘burbs, on seeing on TV
the likely incineration of their husbands, had (and she would act this
out) stamped their feet up and gone ‘oh yes yes yes thank you thank
you’.
The routine was classic Rivers, neither unctuously political nor faux
radical — simply cutting through the bullshit to make the simple
acknowledgement of the realities of domestic life, and the venal sid of
human nature.
She will not get anything like the bizarre outpouring of grief earnd
by Robin Williams — but unlike Williams she’d been funny in the last ten
years. She was funny to the day she died. Your average episode of her
basic cable dogshit show Fashion Police was funnier than anything with a hundred times the money spent on writers and stars.
How can you grieve someone whose job was to regularly appal you? How
can you grieve an 81 year old woman who most likely died from a
face-lift? My god, it must have snapped off and flown across the
operating theatre. If you find that offensive, you wouldn’t like Rivers
anyway, so it doesn’t matter.
Rivers was, if you thought she was funny at all, pretty much funny
all the time. ‘My God, Jennifer Aniston, I’m so sick of her stupid
movies. At the end of the last one even the dog was begging to die’ (Marley and Me), was about the last one I remember from Fashion Police.
Like a lot of joke-based stand-ups she was blessed with the human
capacity for forgetting — an hour after seeing Steven Wright or Rivers
and laughing fit to piss — and let’s face it, she was in her ’70s and
still performing, there’s no way she wasn’t with you there — you’d
forgotten all but the last half dozen gags, like the tail-end of a
dream. She never did serious, she never did heartwarming (as far as I
recall), she just did funny.
But there is a serious point about Rivers, and that is that she was
far more of a pioneer and innovator than Robin Williams. A showbiz-crazy
New York Jewish gal, she failed for years — at acting, singing,
everything — before she found a knack for stand-up. She rose as part of
an almost completely forgotten cultural phalanx — the women stand-ups of
the ’50s and ’60s, of whom there were many. Household names, too,
national stars in the US and in syndication.
Today only Rivers and Phyllis Diller are remembered, partly for
longevity and, in Diller’s case, because she reversed the style (which
Rivers kept), of being glammed up to the nines. Diller made a joke about
her plainness and that insured her a permanent niche.
The others — they styled themselves as Rivers did until her death,
and I guess beyond (she’s left instructions for burial — she wants to be
depilated), as glamorous, slightly up-class WASPs. The look gave them
license — on US tonight shows, in nightclubs and Vegas — to do
surprisingly risque material for the time. They were allowed in to the
all-male bastion for one big reason — stand-up comedy’s raison d’etre,
its cultural role is to ceaselessly restage the mystery of the gendered
human being.
The fact that there are men and women, that they find their meaning
in each other, and yet are simultaneously mutually intolerable, powers
the folk tales of every culture, is projected cosmically, and stand-up
is merely our way of simultaneously releasing the tension of that, and
pondering the enigma. The pre-’80s female stand-ups did that from the
‘other side’, of the patraichal culture, in a way that could not be
subsituted for.
Rivers’s innovation was to sharpen those jokes from the teasing,
sometimes fey manner, to a very edgy barely concealed hostility, a lot
of it done through the enactment of female jealousy. When the DJ Robin
Quivers used an award speech to tearfully recount abuse by her father,
Rivers remarked ‘you should have been glad of the attention. I saw you
backstage bitch, you looked like a mudslide’, a putdown as carved and
detailed as an epigram from Martial.
The other item she added was viscerality, of the female body, the
abject – ‘my God when I was pregnant I was so big when my waters broke
my dog drowned! And he was in Detroit!’ — contradicted by the
high-finish of her appearance. It was an extended performance of the
core contradiction of public femininity, and it went for decades. She
was not only doing a sort of goyim minstrel act — she was essentially a
drag act who happened to be a woman.
God knows I don’t feel a skerrick of sympathy or loss for Rivers
herself. But as Billy Wilder said, walking away from Ernst Lubitsch’s
funeral ‘worse than no more Lubitsch, no more Lubitsch jokes’. She died
after days in an induced coma, like everyone who watched Anzac Girls. Can we talk?
29.8.14
▶ George Carlin on Death, Quotes etc
▶ George Carlin on Death - RIP - YouTube
George Carlin quotes
George Carlin
>
Quotes
George Carlin quotes
(showing
1-30
of
338)
“Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy,
men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are
stupid.”
―
George Carlin,
When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops?
men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are
stupid.”
―
George Carlin,
When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops?
“Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man ...
living in the sky. Who watches everything you do every minute of every
day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn't
want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a
special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish
for you to live forever, and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you. He loves you and
he needs money.”
―
George Carlin
living in the sky. Who watches everything you do every minute of every
day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn't
want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a
special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish
for you to live forever, and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you. He loves you and
he needs money.”
―
George Carlin
“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?”
―
George Carlin
―
George Carlin
“That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.”
―
George Carlin
―
George Carlin
“The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.”
―
George Carlin
―
George Carlin
“Some people see things that are and ask, Why?
Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not?
Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that.”
―
George Carlin
Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not?
Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that.”
―
George Carlin
“Religion is like a pair of shoes.....Find one that fits for you, but don't make me wear your shoes.”
―
George Carlin
―
George Carlin
“We're so self-important. So arrogant. Everybody's going to save
something now. Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save the
snails. And the supreme arrogance? Save the planet! Are these people
kidding? Save the planet? We don't even know how to take care of
ourselves; we haven't learned how to care for one another. We're gonna
save the fuckin' planet? . . . And, by the way, there's nothing wrong
with the planet in the first place. The planet is fine. The people are
fucked! Compared with the people, the planet is doin' great. It's been
here over four billion years . . . The planet isn't goin' anywhere,
folks. We are! We're goin' away. Pack your shit, we're goin' away. And
we won't leave much of a trace. Thank God for that. Nothing left. Maybe a
little Styrofoam. The planet will be here, and we'll be gone. Another
failed mutation; another closed-end biological mistake.”
―
George Carlin
something now. Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save the
snails. And the supreme arrogance? Save the planet! Are these people
kidding? Save the planet? We don't even know how to take care of
ourselves; we haven't learned how to care for one another. We're gonna
save the fuckin' planet? . . . And, by the way, there's nothing wrong
with the planet in the first place. The planet is fine. The people are
fucked! Compared with the people, the planet is doin' great. It's been
here over four billion years . . . The planet isn't goin' anywhere,
folks. We are! We're goin' away. Pack your shit, we're goin' away. And
we won't leave much of a trace. Thank God for that. Nothing left. Maybe a
little Styrofoam. The planet will be here, and we'll be gone. Another
failed mutation; another closed-end biological mistake.”
―
George Carlin
“I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It's so fuckin' heroic.”
―
George Carlin
―
George Carlin
“People say, 'I'm going to sleep now,' as if it were nothing. But
it's really a bizarre activity. 'For the next several hours, while the
sun is gone, I'm going to become unconscious, temporarily losing command
over everything I know and understand. When the sun returns, I will
resume my life.'
If you didn't know what sleep was, and you had
only seen it in a science fiction movie, you would think it was weird
and tell all your friends about the movie you'd seen.
They had
these people, you know? And they would walk around all day and be OK?
And then, once a day, usually after dark, they would lie down on these
special platforms and become unconscious. They would stop functioning
almost completely, except deep in their minds they would have adventures
and experiences that were completely impossible in real life. As they
lay there, completely vulnerable to their enemies, their only movements
were to occasionally shift from one position to another; or, if one of
the 'mind adventures' got too real, they would sit up and scream and be
glad they weren't unconscious anymore. Then they would drink a lot of
coffee.'
So, next time you see someone sleeping, make believe
you're in a science fiction movie. And whisper, 'The creature is
regenerating itself.”
―
George Carlin,
Brain Droppings
it's really a bizarre activity. 'For the next several hours, while the
sun is gone, I'm going to become unconscious, temporarily losing command
over everything I know and understand. When the sun returns, I will
resume my life.'
If you didn't know what sleep was, and you had
only seen it in a science fiction movie, you would think it was weird
and tell all your friends about the movie you'd seen.
They had
these people, you know? And they would walk around all day and be OK?
And then, once a day, usually after dark, they would lie down on these
special platforms and become unconscious. They would stop functioning
almost completely, except deep in their minds they would have adventures
and experiences that were completely impossible in real life. As they
lay there, completely vulnerable to their enemies, their only movements
were to occasionally shift from one position to another; or, if one of
the 'mind adventures' got too real, they would sit up and scream and be
glad they weren't unconscious anymore. Then they would drink a lot of
coffee.'
So, next time you see someone sleeping, make believe
you're in a science fiction movie. And whisper, 'The creature is
regenerating itself.”
―
George Carlin,
Brain Droppings
“The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life
is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of
it? A Death! What’s that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all
backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in
an old age home. You get kicked out when you’re too young, you get a
gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you’re young
enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you
get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you
play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go
back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating …and you
finish off as an orgasm.”
―
George Carlin
is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of
it? A Death! What’s that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all
backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in
an old age home. You get kicked out when you’re too young, you get a
gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you’re young
enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you
get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you
play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go
back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating …and you
finish off as an orgasm.”
―
George Carlin
“Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.”
―
George Carlin
―
George Carlin
“I'm completely in favor of the
separation of Church and State.
... These two institutions screw us up enough
on their own, so both of them together is
certain death.”
―
George Carlin
separation of Church and State.
... These two institutions screw us up enough
on their own, so both of them together is
certain death.”
―
George Carlin
“I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And
apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own
opinions.”
―
George Carlin
apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own
opinions.”
―
George Carlin
“I don't like ass kissers, flag wavers or team players. I like
people who buck the system. Individualists. I often warn people:
"Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, 'There is no "I"
in team.' What you should tell them is, 'Maybe not. But there is an "I"
in independence, individuality and integrity.'" Avoid teams at all
cost. Keep your circle small. Never join a group that has a name. If
they say, "We're the So-and-Sos," take a walk. And if, somehow, you must
join, if it's unavoidable, such as a union or a trade association, go
ahead and join. But don't participate; it will be your death. And if
they tell you you're not a team player, congratulate them on being
observant.”
―
George Carlin
people who buck the system. Individualists. I often warn people:
"Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, 'There is no "I"
in team.' What you should tell them is, 'Maybe not. But there is an "I"
in independence, individuality and integrity.'" Avoid teams at all
cost. Keep your circle small. Never join a group that has a name. If
they say, "We're the So-and-Sos," take a walk. And if, somehow, you must
join, if it's unavoidable, such as a union or a trade association, go
ahead and join. But don't participate; it will be your death. And if
they tell you you're not a team player, congratulate them on being
observant.”
―
George Carlin
“He - and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he, because no woman could or would ever fuck things up this badly.”
―
George Carlin
―
George Carlin
“I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the
self-help section?' She said if she told me, it would defeat the
purpose.”
―
George Carlin
self-help section?' She said if she told me, it would defeat the
purpose.”
―
George Carlin
“I often warn people: "Somewhere along the way, someone is going
to tell you, 'There is no "I" in team.' What you should tell them is,
'Maybe not. But there is an "I" in independence, individuality and
integrity.”
―
George Carlin
to tell you, 'There is no "I" in team.' What you should tell them is,
'Maybe not. But there is an "I" in independence, individuality and
integrity.”
―
George Carlin
3.5.14
24.4.14
21.4.14
Laughing Dutch man Huug Bosse: He's been laughing since hip operation two years ago... but his wife doesn't find it very funny | Mail Online
Laughing Dutch man Huug Bosse: He's been laughing since hip operation two years ago... but his wife doesn't find it very funny | Mail Online
Still in stitches! The elderly man who can't stop laughing since hip
A Dutch man who underwent hip surgery two years ago has
appeared in a TV interview claiming he has not been able to stop laughing ever
since.
According to Huug Bosse's wife, her husband now spends his
days laughing at everyone and everything and it all started when he had a hip
replaced under anaesthesia in 2010.
'It appears that due to the operation, due to the
anaesthesia, he was laughing more,'
Mr Bosse's wife told the Dutch TV programme
Man Bijt Hond as he sat roaring with laughter next to her.
While Mr Bosse did laugh before, his personality had
significantly altered since the operation and he now laughed almost all the time,
she claimed.
'Sometimes it starts to get really annoying all that
laughing the whole day,' she said.
Still in stitches! The elderly man who can't stop laughing since hip
operation two years ago... but his wife doesn't find it very funny
A Dutch man who underwent hip surgery two years ago has
appeared in a TV interview claiming he has not been able to stop laughing ever
since.
According to Huug Bosse's wife, her husband now spends his
days laughing at everyone and everything and it all started when he had a hip
replaced under anaesthesia in 2010.
'It appears that due to the operation, due to the
anaesthesia, he was laughing more,'
Mr Bosse's wife told the Dutch TV programme
Man Bijt Hond as he sat roaring with laughter next to her.
Dutch man Huug Bosse finds almost everything hilarious... but his wife doesn't seem to get the joke
While Mr Bosse did laugh before, his personality had
significantly altered since the operation and he now laughed almost all the time,
she claimed.
'Sometimes it starts to get really annoying all that
laughing the whole day,' she said.
8.4.14
Jim Jeffries talks about being punched in the head
Uploaded on 29 Mar 2011
Funniest Australian around
Extract from Jim Jeffries - Contraband (2008)
Extract from Jim Jeffries - Contraband (2008)
23.2.14
Rake (character) - Wikipedia
Rake (character) - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
A rake, short for rakehell, is a historic term applied
to a man who is habituated to immoral conduct, frequently a heartless
womaniser. Often a rake was a prodigal who wasted his (usually inherited) fortune on gambling, wine, women and song, incurring lavish debts in the process. The rake was also frequently a man who seduced a young woman and impregnated her before leaving, often to her social or financial ruin.
The Restoration rake was a carefree, witty, sexually irresistible aristocrat whose heyday was during the English Restoration period (1660–1688) at the court of Charles II. They were typified by the "Merry gang" of courtiers, who included as prominent members the Earl of Rochester; George Villiers, 2nd Duke of Buckingham; and the Earl of Dorset, who combined riotous living with intellectual pursuits and patronage of the arts. At this time the rake featured as a stock character in Restoration comedy.[1][2][3]
After the reign of Charles II, and especially after the Glorious Revolution
of 1688, the cultural perception of the rake took a dive into squalor.
The rake became the butt of moralistic tales in which his typical fate
was debtor's prison, venereal disease, or, in the case of William Hogarth's A Rake's Progress, insanity in Bedlam.[4]
to a man who is habituated to immoral conduct, frequently a heartless
womaniser. Often a rake was a prodigal who wasted his (usually inherited) fortune on gambling, wine, women and song, incurring lavish debts in the process. The rake was also frequently a man who seduced a young woman and impregnated her before leaving, often to her social or financial ruin.
The Restoration rake was a carefree, witty, sexually irresistible aristocrat whose heyday was during the English Restoration period (1660–1688) at the court of Charles II. They were typified by the "Merry gang" of courtiers, who included as prominent members the Earl of Rochester; George Villiers, 2nd Duke of Buckingham; and the Earl of Dorset, who combined riotous living with intellectual pursuits and patronage of the arts. At this time the rake featured as a stock character in Restoration comedy.[1][2][3]
After the reign of Charles II, and especially after the Glorious Revolution
of 1688, the cultural perception of the rake took a dive into squalor.
The rake became the butt of moralistic tales in which his typical fate
was debtor's prison, venereal disease, or, in the case of William Hogarth's A Rake's Progress, insanity in Bedlam.[4]
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